Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived.
“Six” is a hit musical, a modern retelling of the lives of the six wives of Henry VIII presented as a pop concert. The Queens take turns singing and telling their story to see who suffered the most due to Henry and should, therefore, become the group’s lead singer.
We all know how Henry VIII’s wives died, but do we know anything about how they lived their lives? Each of these women were accomplished and strong characters, and this work gives them the opportunity to shine as they each deserved. It’s performed as a fictional singing competition, where each of Henry VIII’s infamous six wives are competing to be crowned the ultimate musical sensation – based on how much trouble they had to put up with from Henry.
The show opens with all six wives introducing themselves and the competition. Each of the six queens goes on to perform a song about their time with King Henry.
- Catherine of Aragon kicks things off by singing about how Henry wanted to annul their marriage in order to marry Anne Boleyn.
- Anne quickly gives her side of things before sharing the story of her bloody
- Next up, Jane Seymour performs an emotional ballad in which she sings about giving Henry his much-wanted son but never saw him grow up, having died two weeks after childbirth.
- The Queens come together for the next song, which introduces Henry’s next wife, Anna of Cleves, chosen by Henry based on her painting by German artist Hans Holbein. Anna of Cleves then explains how Henry rejected her after being unhappy with how she looked in real life versus the Rather than being upset, Anna celebrates her newly single life with her riches.
- Next into the spotlight is Katherine Howard, who sings about her past relationships leading up to Henry and the emotional abuse she suffered ahead of her beheading at just 19 years old.
- The last queen to perform is Catherine Parr, who begins to sing about having to leave her true love for an arranged marriage with Henry and her life after his death.
Realizing how their lives have been defined by their relationship with the king, the Six queens decide to cancel the contest as they come together to focus on themselves.
Like many others, these women were trapped in a marriage. Divorce, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded survival. The last one survived but only after living in a long, loveless marriage.
The discussion about Six, reminds me about the six types of divorce. Understanding each type of divorce will help you have a “good divorce.” Each type will affect individuals in different ways. By learning about the different processes, you may be able to move through each type of divorce more successfully.
- The emotional divorce—the emotional separation and feelings associated with it.
You need to let go of your feelings about the marriage. You may feel that you and your partner have grown apart. You may be angry and disappointed. Often, these feelings occur before the legal divorce is finalized. Some individuals have emotional issues for years after the legal divorce.
You and your spouse should decide the most effective way to handle household responsibilities. One partner may move out of the house, changing roles and responsibilities. You should discuss how to inform friends and family of the impending legal divorce.
The emotional divorce takes more work when children are involved. Children sometime deal with anger, sadness, fear, confusion, or rejection, and their feelings may make it more difficult for you to process your own emotions. The ongoing relationships between the children and both of their parents also complicate the resolution of emotional issues.
- The legal divorce—the lawful end of the marriage by court action.
The legal divorce marks the end of the marital relationship. It allows individuals the choice to remarry in the future. Although you may have feelings of helplessness, your attorney and the court system can help you make decisions regarding your situation. Tell your lawyer if you want more control over these decisions. Professional mediation can be useful in resolving difficult issues and developing a co- parenting plan when children are involved.
- The economic divorce—the division of money and property.
The division of assets can be difficult. Since two households are more expensive than one, you may have less money to cover expenses due to divorce. As a result, you may need to learn new financial skills. Set up a budget based on your current expenses and income. If needed, use community resources to help you find employment opportunities. You also may be eligible for job training or educational assistance.
Insurance (health and life) and retirement plans can become even more important after divorce.
- The co-parental divorce—the negotiation of parenting following marital separation and establishment of the binuclear family.
You must learn how to continue your role as a parent while letting go of your spousal role. You cannot control the actions of your child’s other parent. However, your children will adjust better if you shield them from post-marital conflicts between you and the other parent.
The amount of time you spend with your children may change following divorce. If the divorce has given you more time with your children, you may feel overwhelmed. You may feel that you don’t have adequate time for yourself as an adult. On the other hand, if you spend less time with the children following divorce, you may feel lonely and out of touch. Give yourself time to acknowledge your emotions and try to be patient with yourself.
- The community divorce—the changes that occur in relationships with friends and the community.
As the divorce process continues, you may receive less support from family and friends. You may feel as though fewer people are willing to help when you need them most. Also, the mutual friends that you and your former spouse shared prior to divorce may seem uncomfortable in your presence. They may not want to take sides. Support groups through your church, community, or work can help you establish new friendships. A divorce support group offers a setting where you can share your personal experiences with others. If you are not feeling good about yourself, consider seeking counseling to help build your self-esteem.
- The psychological divorce—the process of mental separation and the development of your independence.
This is the “true” separation from the marital partner. At this point, you learn to be self-supportive. You may develop insight as to the reasons why you decided to marry and divorce. Instead of spending time blaming another person for the divorce, you focus on adapting to the divorce as you learn about yourself and determine new ways to relate to others.
You know that you have adapted to divorce in a healthy manner if you:
- Have accepted that the marriage is
- Have let go of the
- Remember both the good and bad aspects of the
- Have made peace with the other parent of your children and with
- Are realistic about how you contributed to the
- Have established a support network outside former marriage-related
- Have developed future
- Have allowed yourself time to heal before beginning another
- Are planning your life as a single
As always at South Florida Mediation Services, Deborah Beylus is available to help you through this difficult process. Give me a call at (561) 789-0710 or an email at info@southfloridamediationservices.com.